Ego Defined

The ego is a sense of self importance.

A thought that the self, is unique, or has a special purpose.

A thought of superiority over others due to personal understanding.

This is all ego

For example, two men with seperate beliefs systems can actual have the same perspective. Not in that there beliefs are the same, but their understanding of their own self worth or rightness is the same.

meaning they both think theyre right and the other wrong.

If someone believes that all people think differently. and agrees that all people have no way of knowing what other people are thinking.

Then how does the one who thinks differently not consider that they themselves may be wrong, because the other person may feel the same.

For example a man believes he and his kin are smarter than others, which places them above others.

Another man and his kin feel the exact same way, only he holds a different belief system

They both think they’re right and better than the other, when in reality, it is only their perspective of ego that causes this.

In their minds they think, ” I am smarter, I know better, I am doing the right thing,” and they have all these reasons to back themselves up.

When two people with conflicting beliefs hold this same perspective, a quarrel is almost inevitable.

and because of what? because of the ego.



I will now define the river:      The river is a place where most people, not just young people, live their lives. This place is a place of false priority. A place where peoples goals are not their own but the goals of others. A place of pain where the pain is numbed by artificial medicine. By artificial medicine I mean short term reliefs that help for just a little while but are not permanent. They feel they have to numb this pain, some examples of numbing the pain would be, alcohol, drugs, tv, video games, sex etc….. All things that can be very pleasurable but do not last long and require mulitple doses to keep the pain away. Everytime you indulge in these temporary forms of relief, you slowly take small chunks out of your well being. Making the hole inside of you that you’re trying to fill with this artifical medicine even bigger. Resulting in the need to take more and more artificial medicine. Most people continue to take this medicing unable to find a balance and watch their lives slowly crumble to the ground….. Now, you may ask, well trevor, if you believe people in the river are taking medicine because there stuck in a world of false priorities in which their priorities are not their own but those of the people who influence them, what exactly would be a REAL priority… and that my friend is completely up to you. Whatever makes you sincerely happy. whatever brings you the most joy. whatever makes you the best person you can be. … For me, thats everything that is art, such as good music, meaningful paintings, philosophical poems, deep conversation, etc. … Now you might say, well trevor I find joy in these things you call artificial medicine because after all, “time enjoyed wasted is not wasted time”. Well my friend, I agree, however too much time enjoyed wasted, is a wasted life. and now you’ll say, “I dont see hwo a game of league a da can be harmful” and now I say, no, maybe not. BUT, do you deserve it? do you deserve to reward yourself with a game or two of league a day ? Remember that chasm thats slowly building up with every piece of that artificial medicine you take? yeah its getting bigger every time you indulge in something when you have not properly balanced your priorities. (when you have not earned it) HOW CAN YOU EARN IT? improving yourself as  person, not wasting a day of your life doing basic shit that everyone else does, learning something new, trying to become the best version of yourself, LIVING DEEP AND SUCKING ALL THE MARROW OUT OF LIFE THAT IT HAS TO OFFER. because death is coming my friend and every day you waste in the river, is one less day you have to experience the best version of yourself….. But, then again, that’s just a theory. and you can live your life however the fuck you want because its your life… and that’s the beauty of it.


Is success through 2nd and third generation simply another thing weve een conditioned to believe.

It’s hardwired into our nature to produce offspring, but should we.

Is this also a conditioned thought put into my mind, the thought that having children could potentially be bad. Maybe to reduce the population, I know a lot of people.. well actually considering how many people there are on this planet I guess i really dont even know a few people who think this way. ( in the aspect of the entire human civilization)

I question everything, and people tell me I overthink everything.

Who’s to say whether this is wrong or right.

A person who believes something based on what they have been conditioned to believe is going to relay that conditioning or belief onto another and then it spreads like wildfire.

I say that like I know what wildfire spreads like. Ive actually never witnessed it, only heard of it spreading that way.

So, there is an example of me relaying information that i do not know for sure.

You may be thinking, that’s really basic, of course it’s true, but that’s the point of what i’m saying.

It may be true, but I have never actually seen it and I believe because it’s so basic that it is true.

We go to college to get degrees to determine our worth so we have a better chance of getting hired.

That is the mindset that most people who attend college have.

They think, “Well, i’ll just go to college, get a degree, and someone will hire me at some job.”

They go through not applying themselves, going through the motions never truly imporoving as people. or learning things that are to be learned.

They hold false motivation from bad influences. and in the end they realize that they wasted so much time on bullshit.

It’s like, someone literally has to get into a car crash at high speed to realize that they shouldnt drive at high speeds

people push the limits until they are forced to pay the consequences, and some consequences are worse than others.

Children, push the limits as much as they can, testing how far they can go before they are punished.

they find their plateu and keep it there. stretching it as far as they can possibly go.

What would happen if they recieved no discipline and they were given to correction,

there would probably be a lot of dead kids.


too often we are lost in the river

the river is a place of false priority, a place where the majority of the world lives.

reasons for living outside of the river:

You are going to die, whether you want to or not, you have no choice and you have no say in the time or way in which you go.

So, why the fuck are you fucking around not getting the fullness of life.

you are surrounded by people who do not know how, you are surrounded by followers who give river advice, they are clouded, they dont understand.

Even people who have the ability to see fall back into the river


Understand what you value, understand what is important.

Whats important to you is filling your life with things you enjoy.

such as, deep conversation, critical thinking, art, music, poetry, any type of art that satisfies you, thats what you live for

you live for a deeper understanding of the world,

you live for a deeper understanding of the psych

you cannot get a deeper understanding if youre playing video games, or watching tv, or watching a movie, or wasting your time doing anything else.

you must live every day like its your last because it could be.

you must live deep and suck out the marrow of life.

you must stay out of the river as much as possible

it will be hard. because you will be surrounded by these people. they will sway your mind and bring you down to them. Not intentionally most of the time

They are like a virus you must heal yourself every day after the virus has infected you.

you must refer to this whenever you are down

understand what you want to do

understand true priorities

your priorities are not the priorities of others, your priorities are yours and yours alone

You do not reward yourself with pleasure when you do not deserve it.

you need to be healthy.

you need to stay strong, and stay out of the river.





How can you preach it when you don’t mean it.

How could you know it when you don’t see it.

Quick to feel slick but don’t realize you don’t know what your sayin

Vision blocked due to the house you were raised in

Youre ideas not yours but the people who brought you up.p

Believing everything they say is right? Fuck

No ground to stand on you’ll fall right through.

FYI getting a real education just might save you.

From actin a fool nd lookin just plain bad

All those thoughts you had really the thoughts of your dad

And im sorry to all of those who lack a father figure

I had one so im unfamiliar


So how could I act as a helping hand

When I myself have no ground to stand

The point is, I cant

But that’s the whole reason for this rant

Recognizing that you cant understand something unless you experience it is vital

Please don’t trust the opinions of your idol

Im not saying their wrong, Im just saying they could be.

So form your own opinion, and understand that something different is what other people could see

All is balance.









I wish my brother could hear.

I love my brother. But he cannot hear. He has ears, but his acknowledgements towards what I say are insincere.

Crazy how someone can hear something but not listen. Every single point he’s missin’.

Its not his fault though, its just his age. I hope one day he breaks free of his clouded cage.

And hope is all I can have for my brother I hold so dear, because he’s in his own world, that’s very clear.

One day I wish to have a conversation with my brother o’ mine, that has true substance, one that’s good for the mind.

But my true fear does not come from my brother that I’m witnessing, because he’s not the only one in this world who’s bad at listening.

My true fear lies in the world as we know it. All the people that talk the talk and dont show it.

Crazy how someone can say something and not understand it. Probably because they just repeat the opinions they were handed.

By their parents, influences, or anyone they look up to. Obviously they know what their talking about aint that true?

No, in my opinion its not. Finding someone today who has their own opinion is hard to spot.

You’re knowledge is limited by that which you’ve been exposed. I wish I could say your mind is open but more than likely its closed.

The world is full of people with their eyes wide shut. All full of advice for when you’re stuck in a rut.

And its not to say that their advice isn’t true. Its just that the advice they believe might just not be for you.

So keep an open mind my brother, I hope one day you’ll see clear. Best day of my life, day my brother could hear.



I’m not an asshole.

I don’t laugh at things I don’t think are funny. I’m not going to tell you what you want to hear, I’m going to tell you the truth. What good does me lying to you do for you?

If someone tells me a story and I don’t find it interesting,  or amusing. I’m not going to act interested or amused.

I know, that the person who is on the receiving end of my responses undoubtedly perceives me as an asshole. Also, due to the way we’ve all been conditioned, I myself actually feel like an asshole for not laughing at something I didn’t find funny.

To me.. It shouldn’t be this way.

BUT, in this world we live in, playing this game is essential. Learning to be fake… is essential. Not essential for simply being,( You can go become a monk or become a homesteader if you want) but essential for climbing the social ladder in the mainstream world.

And of course, you have full control over whether or not you yourself want to play the game. You can avoid it as much as possible. Trying to be as real as possible. Living as sincerely as possible. But in the end.. its the world we live in, and its the game that I believe (whether you like it or not) must be played.

Remember, All Is Vanity.. So enjoy you’re life and live for the sincerely good moments.


July 27th, 2016

8:00 p.m.